March 30, 2018

Statements


Abortion

First and foremost, stay sober. At all times. If not possible, 
limit your intake to only one or two drinks per evening. Never hurts 
to keep your head straight. You'll thank yourself very soon, and 
many times thereafter.

Secondly, with an encounter that has very little potential to 
anything permanent, keep it in your pants.

However, if keeping your pants on is not possible, thirdly, use a 
condom or (in case of women) the-morning-after -pills. Always, always 
check your partner he agrees on using one before getting naked. 
Personally, I'd prefer a condom: it's hormone-free, relatively cheap 
(compared to the cost of the latter), widely available and inconspicuously 
portable. 

Alternatively, if protection is not an option, and your nether regions 
are demanding some fresh air, do it solo. Sure, it's the nerdy way, 
but hey, at least you're still in control and principally not harming anyone 
(if you are, you are probably also harming yourself).

If, however, you've failed all the accounts above, you've met the line between 
'in your control' and 'out of your control'.

From here on, responsibility has gained weight, and it's on your shoulders. 
You may be saved by favorable timing, but that, indeed, is a sign of not being 
in control anymore. You've also kept a door open for a scheme of being used 
as a donor. Yes, there are women who just want sperm and alimony from you. 
You donated voluntarily, but did not sign up for the procreation -part. 

Except that you did. Many times - in all those instances above.

When discussing about abortion, I'd start with the points made above. The best 
abortion policy there is, is not to let things evolve that far. 

However, in the special circumstances, where protection fails (likelihood about 
a few percent tops), or a crime has been committed, abortion can be considered 
as responsible action. Emphasizing the overall picture. 

Ironically, usually the very people, who are vehemently and absolutely against 
abortion, meanwhile also preach of the importance of having both a mother and 
a father, preferably of biological origin. And that equation, in its entirety, if 
anything, is bordering on fiction. 

Many nations, even in the developed world, do not suffer from lack of children 
- but lack of responsible parents and safe homes. Also, if biology wasn't that big 
of an issue to people, but rather, a solid desire of parenthood _per se_, fertility 
clinics probably wouldn't be as big a business as they are. 
  

Death Penalty

Do I think there are so horrific crimes, that demanded very strict and 
massive penalties? Yes. 

As with abortion, there are special circumstances, when the 
death penalty should be applied. I.e. the consequences of not doing it 
would cause more harm to innocent others. 

People's traits follow a Gauss curve. At both ends are the rare few, who 
lack sufficient capacity to judgement. 

Rule no. 1. Societies have limited means. What morale is there to sustain 
life, that only seeks to destroy it elsewhere? As a principle it should be pointed 
out, not only as a recommendation, but as a command, that when feeling 
destructive, limit the force only to within thyself. Leave other forms of life 
out of it. 

Again, as with abortion, the best policy would be that things never went that 
far. If however, that cannot be achieved, and if guilt is established beyond 
reasonable doubt, there is no rational demand to maintain danger. As a 
rule no. 2, societies should aim at remaining peaceful and safe. 

There has been counter-arguments, that the death penalty is not effective. 
And that there's always a room for error in that innocent may be put out. 
As for the room of error, it would be mandatory to have irrefutable evidence. 
Also, some results suggest, that having the system in place may prevent future 
murders, as the perpetrator with the fatal inclination is eliminated.

Cautiously I would be willing to also consider a policy, where the perpetrator 
was punished with the same manner he committed his crime. The downside is, 
that in order to become a candidate for death penalty, a lack of judgment is 
required.  Thereby, the criminal probably would not even understand the practice 
as punishment. He would, however, feel the same (physical) pain.

As was pointed out in the link, for victims of the most horrendous crimes there 
is no closure. What yet will probably only increase their suffer, is a peachy 
penalty system, where the murderer is alive and free of the pain he has caused 
others.

P.s. As a link to the points made about abortion, one if not the best way(s) of 
preventing crime, is a stable home with motivated parents. Another is adequate 
social services and education.


Friendship with the other sex


By now, the number has increased to four. As in four lost male friends, 
established friends (= had a discussion about being friends) who suddenly 
went their way, and stopped being in contact. Oddly, I've never even rooted 
for frequent  connection, but rather, when it feels natural whether it was 
in intervals of weeks, months or years. So I've never asked to be considered 
in an extent, that bothered them. 

Frankly, I've never asked anything they don't volunteer for.

But, well, in hindsight, all have shown acceptance to female behavior of 
jealousy and insecurity, when partnership is concerned. Naturally, to me, that 
also translates as insecurity of the men themselves.

What the hell happened to having principles, ehToo bad building all 
that muscle doesn't build character in the same proportion. Am I saddened? 
Hell yes. As a friend, men tend to be more reliable, no-fuss, and more fun. 
But this insecure? Sincerely surprising.

If you cannot maintain your relationship other than by excluding certain 
individuals of other sex, then your relationship is only as strong as your 
power to control the people you meet, and the crowd your in. 

So yeah, good luck with managing the weather, and feeling strong while 
doing it. 

December 26, 2017

Reflection

A graveyard in wintery Christmas-evening is a particularly sentimental place. 
It's a collection of what's left of people - their names chiseled in stones, which 
in turn, serve as memory cues for visiting family members. It's not that memories 
wouldn't exist otherwise. It's just different, when a lifespan is written on a stone 
in date numbers, and is amidst others just as absent.

The way a person dies, or even the cause of death, may not be telling 
of his/her life. What is symbolic, however, is the way his/her departure is 
mourned. In my father's case, both his life and the way he left, for many who 
knew him, are too difficult topics to discuss. 

In many ways he was a typical INTJ. Intellectually intense, deeply caring of the 
few although clumsy at showing it, widely sophisticated, at times biased with arrogance, 
immensely dependent on personal time and space, and unaware of his importance and 
exceptionality to a vulnerable extent. 

What might have helped him during his life, could have been his own recognition 
of being an INTJ, and the acceptance of both related needs and pitfalls.


In my own case, realization thereof came gradually. 


At first, in my teen years, my interests start to branch off from those of the masses. 
Others head to nightclubs and dating, I search for the appropriate physical and mental 
stimuli to learn something new. 

They prefer large crowds and noise, I prefer one person at a time at most. They prefer 
songs with a narrow set of vocabulary spiced up with a repetitive, unsurprising tune. 
I prefer either no vocabulary at all (why waste an entire song if there's not much to 
say), or a meaningful set of versatile words. They get their kicks over junk food, I 
require decent meals. To me, school dinners were always fine, and it seemed ironic, that 
the bunch who voluntarily headed to fast-food joints on their spare time, complained 
about meals cooked in the school's kitchen. They prefer instant gratification, I prefer 
a delayed one - although practically we all like gratifications, so the delineation is 
a bit artificial. They prefer emotional hype and drama, I prefer suspense by logic.

In my twenties I'm preoccupied by studying, and struggle finding enough time for 
hobbies (athletics, books, music). Others mainly deepen their relationship with partying 
and alcohol as the highlight of their pastime. They're on and off relationship-wise, 
trying lots of new stuff. I adhere to my basics, where dating is more of a random 
event than a rule, and in hindsight, also driven by aesthetic attraction clouding the 
judgement far too long.

Then I hit my thirties, and a pattern has developed. The same difficulties with men repeat 
themselves. At work, I struggle to find superiors actually worthy of pretty much anyone's 
respect. In my late thirties, I find that many have coupled up over the pressure of peers, 
because either one is hitting the due date, because it's tradition, because neighbors are 
too, or because it's in fashion. Many have even divorced already.

I, on the other hand, am still unattached, only rarely dated anyone, and deeply frustrated 
over pointless games of power play between men and women. Difficult the avoid the 
culture of 'who's caring least' or 'which one is the most difficult to get'. The massive 
shortcomings in getting any deeper than cosmetic titles, are disheartening. 

It seems I'm settling for the occasional distractions by manly good looks. Even if 
one of the lot chose to approach me, they'd eventually head home early. I have no 
motivation to introduce myself to a man in bits of facts, that need to be conveniently 
packed and spread evenly onto about three months. 

He can have his peachy reality somewhere else. 

Indeed, as years pack up, and you find that honest, frank people come in fractionated 
minorities, intellectually inspiring actions spent in solitude turn up as the most appealing 
(i.e. least disappointing) of their alternatives. It's efficient, since the likelihood of time 
being wasted, is practically zero. 

However.

Stating that one prefers the company of oneself, is a bit like suggesting that picking a 
low-hanging fruit takes effort. I'm not saying I'm the one who's less demanding. I'm 
just saying it's not easy to find likeminded people.

There are the exceptions of occasional improvised happenstances, when intuition tells 
me that it's time to shower myself with the randomness of a chance encounter. Who knows, 
maybe I'll get an inspiration as a result. Although being with knowledge (books, docs, 
debates..) is a type of interaction as well, it lacks the refreshing nature of live participance. 

And moving the goalposts of one's finite mind further, to me, is the lifeblood being alive 
in a worthy manner. 

December 20, 2017

Notes

Thus far in my life, having watched and listened - even participated in - a 
number of debates about religion, there's something about the theme I still 
occasionally wonder. Even though I'm not that active on that front anymore.

A couple of points I recently came across.


Point one. 


I don't remember the source anymore. Suffice it to say, it's on the internet. 

Anyhow, a discussion included a comment, where the participant made a 
valid point about the eagerness in some people to believe in the existence of an 
alleged divine, moral dictator. 

For people with atheistically tuned mindset, it may be difficult to relate 
themselves to that very enthusiasm. The mix of being convinced of a creature 
that cannot be investigated, is perplexing to say the least. And how religious 
people pass this confusing state, is puzzling.

To us non-religious, the slate seems clear: when rational thinking, sense of 
responsibility, empathy and learning by experience are implemented, 
causations can be understood. For that's what morality is ultimately about: 
understanding the humane laws of cause and consequence.

Thereby, the absolute necessity of adding a mysterious figure in the mix 
seems like a dramatic, redundant trick. 

The person in the debate, however, made a decent point:

The thinking above, which I also adhere to, may be indicative of an 
incompetence to understand different needs in people. 

To some people, an idea about life without any instance dramatically more 
capable than humans, can be so appalling, that they're willing to perform even 
the most laborious of mental leaps to see it differently. Also, they may 
become very defensive about it, since it offers a space with less feelings of 
fear. 

In this sense, religiousness may not be so much about e.g. disinterest in science, 
although it is occasionally the case, but rather, a deed to counteract their fear. 
To them, a godless world can seem like a chaotic one.

Thereby, the willingness of religious people to even try and take obviously 
personal beliefs as universal evidence, is actually logical, since it offers solace. 
Aiming at emotional rewards applies to all of us, the forms only vary.

So who can blame a person for seeking more comfort? We all do it in our own 
ways, or we wouldn't be humans. 


Point two.


One reason, why debates with religious people so seldom lead to any drastic 
changes in either side, may also be the following.

When a person thinks he's already found something, the general likelihood of 
having doors open for a competitor, is slim. Particularly, if its packed up with 
personal convictions. 

They've simply stopped looking. 

The fact that many religions demand absolute dedication, only closes their minds 
more firmly. They rarely admit it, and actually, they don't have to. 

Although morality as a context is of the utmost importance (so it would be nice, 
if they admitted that their minds are fixed, so we could all save the time from 
useless debates), yet we've probably all stopped looking for something in our lives.

Regardless of one's background, if you've found your ideal spouse, job, home, 
car, hobby, or whatnot, why would you actively try and change that? It would be 
utterly pointless (unless one is merely greedy). 

I for example, unsurprisingly, have stopped looking for a religious belief. Also, 
I don't actively seek companion anymore. What remains in life without these, 
seems to bring more meaningfulness than the attempt thus far of their inclusion. 
And limited lifetime is precious.

Whenever an ideology commands not to adopt any other values from elsewhere, 
it's a red flag saying: "You've found _the book_, now stop reading". 

If one picks up a decent practice from a lowly regarded book, putting that into 
action doesn't necessarily make the entire book come true. 


Indeed. Gems may appear with crappy escorts.


With a continuous sense of responsibility, the inevitable outcome is a lifelong journey, 
where home is anywhere I choose to be. There's an old Zen -saying: 


"If your home is not where you are, then where else could it be?"

December 13, 2017

Home

There is something absolutely holy about nature remaining untouched by the 
human hand. Ever since being a kid, nothing has touched me more deeply than 
the wild elements captured on this film.


When the time of my permanent departure comes, I'll be absolutely privileged 
to have my remains become part of the very soil the film is about. In its majestic 
grandeur, I cannot imagine a more holy and sacred place. 

I want it to be remembered, perhaps as an epitaph, that as soon as I came to my 
senses (it took long, but fortunately it happened - in 2007), I resigned from cults 
that were so obviously man-made, self-serving, and placed human beings on top. 

Truth be told, I hope many will follow the same path. Not just for the sake of 
allowing nature certain patterns of both development and preservation, but for 
the well-being of future generations - were they humans or other living creatures.

No human can ever donate like nature does. 

Nothing is higher than nature. 

December 04, 2017

Honors

We are approaching our 100th independent birthday. 

These men made it happen.

As was noted by a commentator below the video, the men singing 
in the choir eradicated slavery from here. No deed more honorable
Both my grandfathers belonged to these troops, although their 
presence ceased already earlier than this performance: from my 
father's side in 1980's and from my mother's side in early 2000's.

I get tears every time listening to this. They have my utmost 
respect and eternal gratitude. 


'Take care, soon our brothers will be gone
Remember, that for them, this land cost dearly
Keep telling on, to grandchildren by songs
The memories must never fade'


I am, literally, one of those grandchildren.

December 03, 2017

Lot

Recently, a commentator wrote:

"Usually, men realize the level of oppression women experience only when the 
time comes for their own daughters."

How very true.

In this sense, it's harder for wives with their husbands than for daughters 
with their dads. For some very odd reason(s), men tend to want their daughters 
to reach their best with only sky as the limit, but for their wives, only within the 
limits of men's own achievements.


To all whom it may concern, 

may it be reminded, that all of us women are someone's daughters. 


Forget that and you'll find the fool's lot as the most proper place for yourself.

December 02, 2017

Paragraph

Now that the floodgates have opened - if not fully, at least distinctively wider than 
before - a confusion needs to be clarified.

The wave of admissions - mostly from women - of having survived harassment, 
has taken me by surprise. Sure, I knew it was happening also here in the West, but the 
extent is staggering. Especially considering, that the women telling about 
their painful memories, very likely are only a fraction.

Sometimes these discussions involve topics concerning the related circumstances. 
Where were they, when the incident occurred? Were there other people around? 
Were they drunk? And particularly, was the woman drunk? If so, how drunk? 
What the woman was wearing? 

All relationships, with varying proportions, go down to power struggles between 
the counterparts. Once one lets someone in his/her life, vulnerability develops. 
Even a short moment of shared time and space with specific circumstances may be 
enough for the power distribution to go awry. 

How the related blame should be dealt, is an odd but frequent sidetone in these 
discussions.

No matter how unconscious, flirtatious or seductively dressed the woman may be, 
none of them are acceptable invitations. Being flirty is no permission for others to 
come and grab

The only relevant dimension these cosmetics have, is probabilities.

Certain factors increase the risk for women to become assaulted or harassed. 
Some of them are related to where women go, are they alone, how drunk are they, and 
how are they equipped. 

The likelihood of a certain event to occur, and how the blame shall be distributed
should the event in question take place, are two entirely different things. The fact that 
women can have an effect on the likelihood of becoming assaulted, is not an accusation. 
It is, indeed, only a fact. 

Women can have an influence on some likelihoods, but by this, no responsibility of 
an unwanted approach can be poured on them.

What defines the correct address and magnitude for the due blame and punishment, is 
not the woman's decision to be in a certain place at a certain time wearing certain 
clothes. Instead, it is the decision of the attacker to proceed with an assault.

Or at least it should.